Life is full of If’s and But’s

Today, I am going to share some of my thoughts about something that every one of us have heard or said at some point in life. Sometimes our parents say “I want you to score more than 95% in your exams, and I don’t want to listen to any If’s and But’s”. At other times, our teacher says “Everyone must complete this project by Friday, and I don’t want to hear any If’s and But’s”. Well, everyone wants to keep the “If’s” and “But’s” out of their earshot when making a demand.

And yet, the same people find themselves making up these “If’s” and “But’s” when being accountable to someone else. The other day, I had been to my friend’s house, and her father was scolding her for scoring less in one of the worksheets. He sternly added that he wanted to see her get more than 90+ percentage marks in the next exams – no if’s and but’s would be acceptable. After some time, I unintentionally overheard him discussing work with his boss over a conference call – and it seemed like he was making up his own set of “If’s” and “But’s” for something that he had apparently not achieved up to the boss’s expectations.

So friends, what exactly are these “if’s” and “but’s” that haunt us so frequently in day-to-day life? Well, to put in simple words – these are excuses WE make to save ourselves from being blamed for not achieving something. And we don’t just fool others. A lot of times we try fooling ourselves with these excuses, mostly in vain because deep down in our heart we know that the fault is ours. After scoring less, a student says “Only if I had more time to study” or “I could have easily scored well, but the paper was lengthy”. The reality is, “You always had ample time to study, which you did not use optimally”. “It was not the paper that was lengthy, it was your lack of practice due to which you could not complete it in time.” Even though a student’s example is one that I can easily relate to and explain, we practically see the same situation occurring everywhere around us. A beggar thinks “If I had more money, I would have had better shelter”. A businessman thinks “I did the business right, but the market was not in my favour”. A labourer thinks “If I could earn double my daily income, I would be happy.” Most women think “If I lose some weight, I can fit in that dress and be happy.” The list can go on and on.

So, why do we take the help of these if’s and but’s in everyday life? What drives us to it? Well, the sad reality is that we find it easy to pass the blame to someone or something, instead of owning the problem. We are afraid of accepting the truth. But we hardly realize that by making up excuses, we are only creating more problems for ourselves. No matter how hard we try to get rid of our problems by making up excuses, the problems always seem to come back to us stronger than before, and make our lives miserable.

The next obvious question that comes to mind is – how can we avoid falling prey to these if’s and but’s and the resulting consequences? The solution is indeed simple, if we think about it with a different perspective. All that we need to develop is positive attitude. So instead of complaining about lack of study time or a paper being lengthy, let’s study better and improve our practice. Instead of worrying about having less money, think about what can be achieved with how much we have. Instead of blaming the market for losses, think about what changes we can introduce to make business profitable. And remember, the change needs to start with us. Only when we will build a positive attitude and bravely face challenges without searching for excuses, we will emerge stronger in life.

So dear friends, life is no doubt full of If’s and But’s, however it is upon us to decide whether we want to improve our life by keeping them away, or continue feeding the devil of excuses among us.